booom

everyday i wait a text or might be a call from you..when received one, i'm surely so happy even you just said as simple as 'take a good care' or 'dont get cold'. i very appreciate. but today is very lame! i was sadly in front laptop online,suddenly phone was vibrating and as i wish, that was you texting me..holy crap,this stupid person was so happy,finally get a text message from you.. but it end up with heart breaking..you suddenly so angry and give me scold and warning..so not expected to get scolded. that time i was really no mood and so down already,cause just found out the july14 girl..and suddenly you text me and booom me with your anger just because i dont eat.. i have my breakfast ok! just no lunch.. and thanks to the weather for accompany me raining.. i dont know why you suddenly will booom me like that,really no idea,that time is really really pain.. you said hurt is passed..yea man hurt is passed. but that time i was mood down!! and you booom me lagi..omg la! really down down mood already..really unexpected..and give warning lagi..that time i really fucking my life already..i felt like sleeping straight away until tomorrow noon just wake up..felt like kena shoot so many times but undead =.=''' . that hurt and pain i felt at ''break up day'' coming back..something eating me inside..you bringing up my hurt and pain back.. you shouldn't warning me like that!!!!!!!!!! you should say,hoii bongo go eat la,whole day no eat want die ah you??. you say like this i straight will go eat..lunch and dinner straight away if can tomorrow breakfast i also eat la....that was better than, ''you no eat wont treat you as my friend anymore''. you say this thing to your friend meh??kids will do,that's why i say haiz.. don't say like that anymore ah!!! i rather kena marah like hoii hoii, uii uiii, call me babi bongo and what so ever just not bodoh..

i know i'm much different from your other friend because i love you and you know that..i hold hurt and pain inside me..that hurt of being left behind..that pain when you love someone but they just ignore you feeling..and those feeling of wondered; where is he now? what is he doing now? is he still breathing there? he already eat? he go work today? he stay home? he got online? he sleep? wake up yet? sleep yet? what time he go sleep? what time he wake up? omg!! you should know how is that feeling.

even i dont want to think about it, that thought really dont want run away from my head..so i'll just stay with those thought in my head everyday.but i still care myself..as i told you if i dont,i die long ago,maybe 2months ago, on aug10 lagi die already..but hey i still alive here just crack heart already =..=

**whenever you text me,i expect to received a good message that could make me smile,not booom message like today.i've hurt a lot already,so please don't keep hurt me anymore. maybe you can't make me happy as before, but you still can make me happy as friend or maybe someone special..but to me you always have special place in my heart :") . i hope to hear your apologize..

c.r.y

i wonder for my last date with you and also my present.. will i have those day with you? you seems running away from me..now i know who's birthday on july 14. you wrote her birthday in your calender..mine?? not even written anywhere.. you said she's beautiful..me?? did you ever said those to me?? when i post you anything,you never care me..did you ever like or comment my photos?? even just one?? NO..not at all..it's really pain..i feel like dying..i looking for the woman when i'm with you but i didn't found her..when i didn't find her, i suddenly found it..it's too close..i really faint..i cant even sleep..i dont feel anything..i'm just too sad..i've cry whole night..and this morning i woke up as early as 6am and force myself to sleep but i cant i kept thinking of you..i'm in pain..really pain..i'm so tired..i want to rest my life..i pray and wish to God..today i can't even fake a smile..i'm extremely sad..my life had ruined..my world totally blur..this feeling is so pathetic..i can't stop myself from crying..i can't even fake anything..no fake smile,no fake laugh..i can't fake anymore..i want to cry whole day...i wonder why i fell for you..i wonder why you can't love me? why do you chase after something not sure and leaving something is surely you get. am i so cheap for you? why do you play with my heart,my feeling? i'm really hurt and pain..i want to hear your voice..i want to meet you and cry in your hug..will it be? where are you? i had sacrificed a lot for you. did you ever realize?

Love ~ Love ~ Love ~ Love ~